The Punctuation Mark

At my age I have watched the slow aging, and ultimate decline of a handful of people in my life.  People, who inspite of their present state, are forever trapped in my mind's eye as the young, capable, caregiving people they were when I was young.  This, I have learned, is the most difficult part of growing up.  Yes, there are more responsibilities, bills to pay, jobs to attend, worry beyond anything a child can imagine; but in the end the aging and illness of those who took care of us, the changing of roles, ultimately the death is so much more difficult to me than anything else.  The responsibilities we're prepared for, we know those are coming.  I'm not sure any of us realize the difficulty of watching those who raised us, those who loved us, those who took care of us, now needing the care.  It's such a painful turn sometimes.
Most recently I have watched this happen to my grandmother.  As I see this steel magnolia, always so stubborn, defiant and resilient in the face of trial, suffering and pain; a woman of faith that surpasses understanding; a woman of independence far ahead of her time; a woman of grace and class and modesty, in a nursing home with little ability to carry on a conversation, take care of herself or even enjoy her final years I am heartbroken. What I failed to appreciate about her as a child, I so respect and love about her as an adult. To watch a life full of exclamation points coming to an end with a mere period absolutely infuriates me.
How does this happen?  Why does this happen?  Why is it that we can spend a lifetime living, loving, enjoying, building, taking whatever comes our way and thriving inspite or because of it, yet, end life in the care of strangers with no modesty, no home and no ability to care for ourselves?  How do we spend a lifetime chasing the exclamation points to end with a simple period?  Where is the humanity in this?  More importantly, what is the lesson in this?  Is the lesson for the children or grandchildren?  Is it to live every moment because you never know how it's going to end?  Is the purpose to do everything we can to keep our own parents from such a fate?  Is it to remind us of the humanity of the elderly?  Is it to remind us that even though they are weakened, they are frail and seem ignorant, they were once the greatest generation, they were once the young people out to conquer the world.  They were once the caregivers, the parents, the intelligent, the fit and the strong.   And maybe, just maybe in their showing us grace and acceptance in aging and all that comes with it, they can end their lives as they lived them, full exclamation points.
For our steel magnolia...we will always and only remember the exclamation points.